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I am result of my own thoughts,actions and wordsI use in my communication with self and others.
To be an effective communicator I must change my thoughts. We communicate and acton the basis of our thoughts and knowledge on the subject.
I realised when I didn't get the desired result, I was blaming situations, circumstances orother people. Or I justified my failures, and in the long run I became a Victim of my own creation.
I was using 'You' to blame others and 'He/ She/ They' to justify my failure. For example, if Iwas addressing a Public gathering or Press Conference and audiences were not listening tome. I was blaming the Public & Journalists by saying, “You are not listening to me/ You aredisturbing me/ You are creating trouble/ You are asking irrelevant questions/ You areprovoking me.”; the list goes on.....Instead of taking responsibility of my failure 'I was not well prepared/ I could not handle myaudience'; I was justifying my failure to my Parents, friends and colleagues by blaming theaudience and saying that “'He/ She/ They' 'was/ were' not listening to me/ They werecreating trouble/ They were asking irrelevant and provoking questions'If you analyse the above communication, I was focusing outside people for my failure and Iwas getting more frustrated. Then I started to observe my thoughts, actions and words that Iwas using in my communication with self and other. Once I realized I can focus on myselfand took responsibility for my every actions and words. My communication changed to'I' to take responsibility and 'WE' to acknowledge everyone's contribution“I failed to control the crowd/ audience. 'I' was not well prepared.' As I acknowledged myfailure and took responsibility; I started investing on self and I improved to the next level.
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The word 'you' is to be used to praise or appreciate and ask others (e.g., “You have done a goodjob.” “ Will you come in time”) The word 'I' is to be used to take responsibility and rest of ourcommunication should include 'we, our and us'. Because I can't achieve much result alone, Ineed to work in a team. When I believe that I am interdependent, my communication changesand synergy is created in the organization, and productivity is increased to many folds.